Now first things first, here's a very abridged update of the last 3 months of my life.
I quit my job! Woohoo! No more breaking down cardboard, stocking shelves, helping people navigate extremely basic computerized kiosks, or running 35mm film (okay the last part wasn't so bad except for the odd awkward 'romantic' roll, but still). 'Why would you ruin such a deliciously stable source of minimum wage income?', you may ask, and my answer is Christmas vacation with the Roberts'. And I regret nothing. Not only did I get to spend priceless time with Fiona, but I also got to forge some excellent relationships with her family, got absolutely spoiled multiple times feasting and drinking (thinking about it still gives me some guilt only because it was all so good and I put on too much weight), and I got to see some awesome parts of Scotland that I'd yet to see. Of course I also got to see and catch up with most of the mates I've missed as well. Being in the Roberts' house also gave me a chance to patch things up with Fiona's sister, who used to be one of my best friends - time heals all wounds after all, and I'm so happy we're getting on well again.
.jpg)
As you can see from this small collection, It was a lovely holiday and I was especially sad to come back to the states. Unfortunately, real life does beckon at some point or another. If anything, the trip solidified my resolve to continue in pursuing a graduate programme in Counselling at Edinburgh and certainly reminded me how sweet it would be to be reunited with some of my best friends. Speaking of which, lots of big updates occurred on the uni front as well. I celebrated my 23rd birthday less than a week after returning from Scotland, and the University gave me the very appreciated present of a second stage application statement form. Lot's of excitement, but also lot's of work - the nature of the degree I'm pursuing means that I had to answer questions ranging from "What is 'maturity' and how does it relate to yourself?" to "Please say something about where you are in your life now, and why you want to pursue this study". Turns out this blog prepared me to answer at least a few of those questions.
After answering a page of 18 questions from the University with over 10,000 words of my own and an excellent reference from Kim (Thank you so much!), they have invited to the next interview stage of the application, set for mid March. I must say, after my last bout of unemployment, my current interview-to-hire ratio is not spectacular, so there is a fair amount of shaking in my boots. This, however, isn't just another job, and I plan to give it my absolute best. In my mind there's no room for Error, and I have to keep my mindset thinking that way.
While finishing up my University application took up most of my time (and most of my money) for three weeks, I'm now in the midst in trying to land a more current gig. I've been employed by some tutoring agencies, but the hours unfortunately aren't enough. I've had a few interviews, but unfortunately none of them have panned out or they have yet to get back to me, which is starting to get fairly annoying. With some encouragement from Fiona, it has made my social life a fair bit richer though. I've made some new friends and found some new excuses to visit new bars and restaurants in the area, go on some hikes, and, of course, where would I be without some games of cards.
While my application may be moving forward slowly but surely, I've noticed a lot of people in my life entering new phases of life. Whether they be moving forward professionally, romantically, or personally, I feel like I'm at a phase of comparing my own growth to others, and trying to help others do better as a way of trying to find the answers for myself. Often times I think it's useful to observe and help others overcome issues or transitions.... it gives one a referent to a wider breadth of knowledge to draw from when its time to make changes for yourself. My brother making his steps towards marriage and new career, one of my new best friends dealing with the challenges of a recent divorce, and friends adapting to stay out of unemployment, even if it means going back to school 15 years after most graduate, shows the way that changing is not a single transitory phase of life, but an eternal undercurrent that is always going to be present. I figure it's better to get used to it sooner rather than later.
That being said, part of the reason why I have not been posting is because my changes are miniscule as of yet. I am making steps and progress towards to bigger lifestyle changes - in the next few months I may be moving back to Scotland, or, for all I know, another state as things change around in my professional life. I've made so many realizations in the past year and a half of what making those changes means, and the discipline necessary to do so, that I feel like I am currently in a rinse-repeat cycle of reviewing my knowledge rather than discovering whole new concepts. Wanting to change means wanting to become something else, or wanting to identify yourself and find value in a different aspect of your life. That, of course, is easier said than done. Going through changes, and watching others go through the same, highlights the elements that you wish to Seek out in yourself. Progress may be slow, but the desire to move in that direction does make it inevitable, so long as we are willing to keep pushing in that direction. Right now all I can focus on is continuing down that path of change - 'keep on keeping on' is how I constantly phrase it when I talk about it. For me, that means taking every moment I can to give my girlfriend a break from her heavy workload, trying to get my volunteering opportunities squared away, get some source of income that is remotely stable, and enjoy the time I have with my family because you never know what direction you may be going. If that means being boring for the time being, so be it, it's all a part of reforming, redefining, and disciplining yourself to know the important things when they come along and to soberly make the important decisions that will lead to personal satisfaction. And of course, do more stuff like the following in the mean time:
